


Oversleazy

by Anonymous



Category: Tales of Crestoria
Genre: M/M, NSFW, Piss kink, retagging now that i'm more awake, unsanitary food play
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-29
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-15 04:20:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29058105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Two men, one breakfast. Nothing good comes out of Vicious being the cook.
Relationships: Aegis Alver/Vicious
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4
Collections: Anonymous





	Oversleazy

**Author's Note:**

> I got inspired by anon's fic here https://archiveofourown.org/works/29027343 and earlier I saw a tweet saying that there wasn't enough cresty material these days and I totally agreed. and now i hate myself but i already did.
> 
> free the pee. c:

Vicious didn’t contain the devilish grin that was plastered from ear to ear. To many, he was Sin incarnate himself. Might as well keep up the reputation.

He stood across the kitchen, slurping up the swill that was his black coffee as he kept a cool gaze on the prissy ex-commander boy that was currently gawking at his breakfast in horror. It was rare that Vicious volunteered to cook anything, because he was the self-proclaimed best chef out of him and his talents were, according to him, out of their league to eat; therefore, they could eat whatever the pigs scraped up (or whatever atrocities Misella cooked). 

But today he was in a jovial mood, and the kids woke up to a light and hearty breakfast of eggs and bacon. As usual, they ate as if it were their last meal, scarfing down the proteins with no regard for table manners.  _ They  _ seemed to enjoy his cooking. However, next to them Aegis’s slack-jawed expression turned to one of disgust, and he pushed the plate away from him. 

Kanata pointed to the plate with his fork. “What’s wrong, Aegis?” he asked.

_ “What’s wrong, Aegis?” _ Vicious wanted to repeat mockingly, but it wasn’t time yet. He merely continued to sip at his coffee as Aegis moved his head in Vicious’s direction.

“That freak knows what he did with my breakfast.” 

“Huh? Looks fine to me.”

Misella scrunched up her nose, not hiding her disdain from everyone who wasn’t Kanata. “Yeah, looks fine. Not everything has to be vegetables and rice.”

“That’s  _ not  _ the problem,” Aegis growled between clenched teeth. “I’ll just pick up some fruit to eat on the way to the temp agency later.” 

“Ahhhh, don’t be that way, buddy boy. Here, not everyone can swallow my greatness.”

It was time. Vicious strutted over to the table and, picking up the plate and fork, shoved a bite of sloppy, runny eggs into Aegis’s mouth. He relished hearing the boy gag and muffle curses in between bites, seeing the salty, yellow juices that streaked down his porcelain chin. With a brief glance, one would see nothing wrong with the breakfast, but a closer inspection would see that Vicious’s manliest man piss intermingled in the egg yolks. A special concoction, made just for a healthy ex-knight like Aegis. 

His erection was cleverly hidden behind the table so the kids wouldn’t slut shame him for it, but he couldn’t keep his restraint for too much longer, so he hoped Aegis would take the hint soon. After a few more forced bites, the boy clawed for his handkerchief and practically smashed it against his face, trying to keep as cool and collected as possible in front of the kids. “Hey, Kanata, Misella, why don’t you two finish breakfast outside?” he suggested. “It’s such a beautiful day today..”

Oblivious as ever, Kanata failed to read the room, but sensing the overwhelming sexual tension, Misella practically shoved her boytoy into the hallway, plates and all. When they were out of sight and out of mind, Vicious had five seconds to do much of anything before Aegis grabbed him by the shirt collar and pulled him into a clumsy kiss. He groaned in pleasure as he tasted Aegis’s backwash, eggs, and his own piss slobbed around his tongue, and his hand slithered down to grab just one round asscheek of Aegis’s, causing the boy to almost jump like a fucking dog.

When they were done they separated by only a few inches, panting. “Why the  _ fuck  _ would you humiliate me like that?” Aegis demanded in a low growl. 

“It turns me on to put you in your place. You shouldn’t have said I can’t cook last week. You’re just getting my sloppy seconds, boy.”

It was easy to get the boy flustered. A pale pink flashed across Aegis’s face and he turned away, biting his lip. “Well, it’s not that you  _ can’t _ . It’s that you  _ won’t _ ,” he finally spat, “and  _ you’re  _ the one who causes 90% of our messes to begin with!”

“But  _ you’re  _ the one who usually cleans up my messes, so by that logic shouldn’t  _ you _ clean up this mess too? Shouldn’t waste food, you know.”

They were at their usually dysfunctional, fucked up standoff. Vicious could play up the debaucherous, sadistic man beast and Aegis could play up the wholesome, chaste white knight all they want, but at the end of the day they were so similar it would make any floppy dick harder than that time Misella salvaged stale bread from a bakery dumpster. Aegis stomped over back to his seat and firmly grasped his fork as if his life depended on it. “Well, then? You might as well redo my whole meal. Can’t have warm eggs with cold urine.” 

“You understand my culinary skills. I have dessert to go with it too.” 

Unzipping his barely-contained pants, Vicious positioned his strong, sexy wiener over the plate of balanced breakfast. Aegis flung one glove off his hand and began stroking it, grazing his thumb up and down the wienermobile. The older man grabbed a clump of his silver hair and pulled on it, all of his strength holding the boy like a NASCAR steering wheel. “God, why are you so hot when you eat my meals? I’m gonna go out of business if I keep serving you like this.”

“Shut up.”

“You don’t want my cummie-wummies in your eggy-weggies? It’s a limited-time order.”

“Gods, Vicious, shut  _ up _ . Don't ever say that again.” 

Vicious jerked the boy’s head forward until they were inches from each other’s face again. He had a point. “You make me hotter when I don’t have to use all that sweet talk crap with you.”

This time he was in control as he plunged right in, licking Aegis’s lips before wrestling with his lover’s tongue. Every loud, noisy moan only got him hotter, wetter, and within seconds cum and piss erupted all over the plate, the food, Aegis’s hand, and Aegis’s jacket. It was just enough to interrupt their passionate sexual tension, and Vicious bent over in loud, booming laughter. “Haha, prissy boy? They oughta call you pissy boy now,” he crowed, pointing a finger at him.

Aegis glared at him. “You better clean me up. What if  _ I  _ want to cum?”

“Yeah, yeah. First I need to get my own breakfast, though.”

Milk first, Vicious poured himself a bowl of Frosted Flakes and sat next to Aegis, placing his rancid, manly feet up on the table to add to the mess. Sighing, Aegis stabbed his fork into the eggs, and they finished their breakfast in silence. It wouldn’t do to waste food, after all. 


End file.
